Adulthood

Saturday, 4 February 2017


On Thursday we had a lecture that really made me ponder. It was all about the stages of adulthood, if you study psychology you will know these stages off by heart so I'm not going to go into them in too much detail but here are some links if you're interested and a really cool Ted Talk. My lecturer asked us to raise our hands if we felt that we were an adult, and only about 5 people in the whole class raised their hands. I didn't raise my hand, because I don't feel like an adult right now. If he asked me a few weeks ago I probably would have raised my hand and that's the thing about adulthood, it's a spectrum. 

All of the theories surrounding adulthood tell us that we have to reach a particualar stage at a particular age (ooo rhymes!) But I think that's the wrong way of thinking about it. You only feel like an adult when you have your shit together, and how many times do you really have your shit together though? When can you finally say that yes, I have my shit together and yes, I am now adult, I don't think you can. I think that there are some days where you can be cruising through life thinking you're a complete GirlBoss and then next thing you know you're crying on your kitchen floor because you can't light the gas oven (not speaking from experience or anything). Adulthood is a spectrum, a spectrum that is constantly changing and moving up and down. Many people would disagree with me, like most white-man-colonial psychologists they would say that if I don't feel like an adult now, that's my own fault and nothing to do with society at all, or even worse it's my parents fault, I missed a stage, I'm stuck, I'll never be an adult (Freud). But I think that's a very negative way of looking at it. 

What I'm trying to say in this little psychological ramble is that no-one's really got their shit together all the time, so don't worry. You might have your own business but still aren't sure about what washing detergent to buy, you might be like me and thinking you're taking everything in your stride to find yourself on the kitchen floor one night wondering what's happening and how it got this bad. I think we should stop trying to adult and just let it happen, don't focus on it and it will come, forget about the white-man psychology stages, you do you and if you still need to ring your mum to find out what washing detergent to buy, do it, don't be ashamed. Adulthood is a spectrum after all!

I would like to know if you feel like an adult most of the time or sometimes and I would love to here your adulty' opinions on this topic. Are we being taught wrong, or do you think these theories actually have validity? Lemme' know, I'm off to buy some washing detergent now.   



6 comments

  1. I do agree with you actually. We can't have our shit together all the time. I mean, when you have kids and all, you have to pretend like you have you shit together but maybe in reality you really don't. And that's completely okay. x

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. Yeah exactly and I think that's a wrong doing by society in general telling us as soon as we have children we have to act like we have our shit together all the time, it can be quite damaging, for the parent and child. But who am I to say, that's just from things I have read, such an intresting topic though.

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  2. Definitely agree with this, honestly. I think the only real 'adult' thing is simple being responsible. So even if you don't know, say, what detergent to buy, the adult thing to do would be to figure it out! Then you know. I feel like being/becoming an adult is just a continual cycle of not knowing, doing, and learning. I'm definitely figuring that out. I'm definitely "an adult" legally, but I DO NOT have my shit together. But I'm ~figuring it out~ no pressure!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)

    / Maria

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    1. Yeah exactly, but aren't we supposed to be responsible as children as well? I think it's so interesting and yes it's great to know wer're all 'figuring it out' together!

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  3. I really agree with this! We're all just trying our best really and I think it was Yoko Ono who said 'Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.' x

    Sick Chick Chic

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    1. Aww really that's such a cool quote, I'll have to tell that to my lecturer, thank you for sharing!

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